My mom is soooo right (and it's odd that we've both been thinking about this). I often wonder if I give too much of myself to people, or if I give too much of my heart to things that really don't matter. I wonder if I spread myself too thin trying to accomplish everything I can, being a perfectionist like my momma.
Will I ever be whole again? After Siovhan left for college I felt like part of me was gone, then after leaving for college I felt even more incomplete. Slowly I started feeling better as I became closer to my roommate, but now he's gone too (as well as numerous other friends).
Sometimes I miss being 11 years old. I miss being innocent and young. I miss crushes. I miss not worrying. Everything seemed--and probably was--so much easier then. Love. Hate. Faith. Intelligence. Friendships. Family.
But, I know that everything happens for a reason. I am meant to struggle sometimes so that I can remember help is no more than a prayer away. I find solace in President Hinckley's words:
"I come to you tonight with a plea that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight. I am suggesting that as we go through life we try to "accentuate the positive." I am asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we still our voices of insult and sarcasm, that we more generously compliment virtue and effort. Now I am not asking that all criticism be silenced. Growth comes of correction. Strength comes of repentance. Wise is the man or woman who can acknowledge mistakes pointed out by others and change his or her course.
What I am suggesting is that you turn from the negativism that so permeates our modern society and look for the remarkable good among those with whom you associate, that we speak of one another’s virtues more than we speak of one another’s faults, that optimism replace pessimism, that our faith exceed our fears. When I was a young man and was prone to speak critically, my wise father would say: 'Cynics do not contribute. Skeptics do not create. Doubters do not achieve.' "
This talk helps remind me to have faith, to trust my Father in Heaven with my life (especially with a mission right around the corner) and to hope for a brighter tomorrow. I need to be a little bit more optimistic than I have been lately...
